February Story Time

Once upon a time there was this Big head man, everyone thought he was the nicest man in the world. Little did they know he was a baby carriage non helper. This is a person who never helps people with baby carriages, he always says "Damn only if I was closer and I was going up those steps." Also he stays behind old people to see where there going and "avoids" the way they go in case they die. His real plan is to sneak up behind them late at night and scare them hoping they have a heart attack. I guess we can call him the Serial Scarer.

One day a cop has caught onto his little act. Officer Jim has had to many deaths do to the Serial Scarer. The way they know its him is that always after a elderly person has a heart attack he always takes a shit on they're coffee table. "That sick bastard" Officer Jim said. His partner Kevin lost one of his parents to the Serial Scarer, so yes this was personal for him.

A month has gone by and 20 people have died and 20 shits have been taken on coffee tables city wide. Jim has not been able to go home to his wife and kids, know that the killer is still at large. All they know is that the killer likes spicy food and for some reason he didn't have any spicy food for awhile now, the Officers are thinking he gave it up for Lent.

After another week they started too search all the people with ties to spicy food restaurants, no luck. Kevin said "This Spicy shit motherfucker can't get away with this." Jim try's to get him calm down.

The next day Kevin is dead. Everyone thinks its suicide, except Jim. Why you ask its very simple there was poo in the toilet. The Serial Scarer has changed his killing ways. So Jim bring the poo down to the lab before flushing the toilet. The lab report comes back and guess what spicy food was found inside the shit. Jim said "This shit just got real." Later that night Jim gets a knock on the door at home, he looks outside and he sees this man with a big head. So he said "who is it...." The big headed man answers "Cable". Jim is thinking in his head "Why is the cable man out now." So he lets him in. Jim is keeping his distance between him and the very large headed man. They the man asks do you like spicy food as he pull out a bag saying "Atomic Wings" Jim shocked as he thinks the large headed man is the Serial Scarer he jumps across the room and grabs his gun and tells the man to get on the floor and put his hands up. The man does so as he holds the bag in the air. As Jim gets closer and starts to put the cuffs on him, the large headed man leaps back head butting Jim in the head knocking him out with his MASSIVE head. Jim finally awakens in his tube with shit all over him and in the spot were you normally put the soap was a chicken wing.

Jim finally gets to work and gives the description of the man to the rest of the Officers. They later find a large headed man in the lake dead. Jim goes down to see if it was him. It was it appears someone has given him a Heart Attack by scarring him. When they analyze the body they find he shits himself. They run a DNA test on the poo taken from the victims and Jim's house and the body in the lake and it matches it had spicy food in it and the hair in the poo match the hair on the body in the lake. So the case was closed and the Large headed man was shit out of luck.